Facebook is the living dead: the most popular, least relevant social network where teenagers and adults alike gather out of fear of missing out on things that don’t even make them happy.
Reblogged from Political Party Girl
My hair is too short for Princess Leia cinnamon buns, so I wasn’t able to implement Liz Lemon’s strategy for jury duty. Wish me and my sane hairdo luck today.
Boss, on an opposing party who is being stingy with discovery
- Boss: Well, it looks like they're Deepthroating the tape, so we'll have to get to work on a subpoena.
- Me: Okay
- Boss: I mean, it's just so frustrating when people play these games. You know, it's like, just don't... well, I don't know how else to put this without using a "sensitive term" -- just don't "manhandle" the evidence!
- Me: What's sensitive about saying manhandle?
- Boss: Well, you're a woman. I don't want to offend you in the workplace.
- Did he not hear himself say deep throat??
Verbatim, I swear
- Boss: Secretary and I cannot figure out how to send a text from my computer.
- Me: Hm, typically you send a text from a cell phone.
- Boss: I know, but I want to do it from my PC. Neither of us have ever sent a text from a computer, and we were hoping you could help us.
- Me: I've also never sent a text from a computer. Could you just send an email?
- Boss: But if we wanted to do it, how would we do it?
- Me: I'm really not sure. I know as much about that as I do about sending a fax from a calculator.
- Boss: Could you should me how to do that later today?
Trust us, the minute we figure out how to develop a true scratch-n-sniff cover, you guys will be the first to know.
June issue drops next week. Start making your guesses at who made the list and get your antacids ready. It’s gonna be a beautiful summer.
I want to go to there.
Reblogged from Texas Monthly
No Mothers’ Day is complete without this timeless classic.
Happy All Up Under The Covers Day.
AND WHILE I’M IN YOUR MOTHER I’LL NEVER USE A RUBBER
Cuz every Mother’s Day needs a Mother’s Night
Reblogged from Wanderlust & Peter Pan Syndrome
Photo 1: Venn diagram based on sophisticated crowd analysis at the Color Run
Photos 2 and 3: proof that my pretentious Venn diagram is crap and I actually had an awesome time at that Color Run.
Leno Skit Turns Unexpectedly Amazing Thanks to Incredible Couple
MORE: Gawker
Well this is charming as hell. Enjoy!
